Beauty Standards

[ragani]

In her (locked) post about her reaction to a lame meeting held at her office on how to dress, chicklet73 lists a bunch of ways that she is not "girly" and is OK with it. And, BTW, I am sure you would agree that, despite what she says in her post, she is indeed beautiful.

There are so many types of "girly" style and every girl should have the right to pick and choose which ones work for them.

I had one friend in high school that liked to tell people what a tom-boy she was. See, she needed to tell people this because although she might not have been the girliest girls at our school, she was one of the girliest girls in our circle of friends. She would point out her ripped jeans as an example, but she actually would wear nylons under them!!! She had a dermatologist and got regular manacures, and was a hostest on a cable teen talk show. Not really my idea of a tom-boy.

And speaking of nylons, I once worked temp at a corporation in SF that would actually send people home (or, I guess the nearest pharmacy) if they showed up in a dress or skirt without nylons or tights.

My list would include things like:
I don't like to wear uncomfortable shoes for anyone, least of all just for fashion, so even though I have plenty of shoes, they are primarily comfortable (loafers, boots, comfortable sandles). I am not against spending over a $100 on a nice pair of good comfortable sandals that should last a while and still are nice enough to wear to work or even the opera. In fact, that describes the sandals I have on right now which are similar to these, but with adjustable straps. You gotta love a shoe company that has the motto Proper Size • Perfect Fit.

And the whole handbags obsession is something I just don't get. What a pain having to move all that stuff from one bag to another! I want everything with me without a hassle. In high school I preferred a vest with lots of pockets, and now I tend to use one bag (be it a purse, back pack or some variation therein) until is no longer usable (thanks Leeloo, I guess I was done using that really nifty biker back-pack that my sensi coveted after all, so I guess it is no big deal that you peed on it - not!) and a new one comes into my life (often thanks to my grandma).

I didn't shave (anything) regularly until my late 20's, and even now, I only do when I feel like it. The same is true for manicures and pedicures. More importantly, I didn't start doing either of those until they were for ME and not to please anyone else or some dictates of fashion.

Typically the only times my hair feels the heat of a hair dryer, or even a hair iron of any kind is the couple of times a year that I get my hair cut at a salon. When I get my hair cut I tell the stylist "Do what ever you like, as long as I can put it up in a pony tail or bun, I don't have bangs to fuss with, and it does not take lots of product or styling to be ready."

I really do have a lot to say about this. I guess I should quit and go get lunch instead of making this longer. I will leave you with the lyrics to the India Arie song Video, and a question.

Sometimes I shave my legs and sometimes I don't
Sometimes I comb my hair and sometimes I won't
Depend on how the wind blows I might even paint my toes
It really just depends on whatever feels good in my soul

I'm not the average girl from your video
and I ain't built like a supermodel
But, I learned to love myself unconditionally
Because I am a queen
I'm not the average girl from your video
My worth is not determined by the price of my clothes
No matter what I'm wearing I will always be India Arie

When I look in the mirror and the only one there is me
Every freckle on my face is where it's supposed to be
And I know my creator didn't make no mistakes on me
My feet, my thighs, my lips, my eyes; I'm lovin' what I see

I'm not the average girl from your video
and I ain't built like a supermodel
But, I learned to love myself unconditionally
Because I am a queen
I'm not the average girl from your video
My worth is not determined by the price of my clothes
No matter what I'm wearing I will always be India Arie

Am I less of a lady if I don't wear pantyhose?
My mama said a lady ain't what she wears but, what she knows
But, I've drawn a conclusion, it's all an illusion, confusion's the name of the
game
A misconception, a vast deception
Something's gotta change
Don't be offended this is all my opinion
ain't nothing that I'm sayin law
This is a true confession of a life learned lesson I was sent here to share with
y'all
So get in where you fit in go on and shine
Clear your mind, now's the time
Put your salt on the shelf
Go on and love yourself
'Cuz everything's gonna be all right

I'm not the average girl from your video
and I ain't built like a supermodel
But, I Learned to love myself unconditionally
Because I am a queen
I'm not the average girl from your video
My worth is not determined by the price of my clothes
No matter what I'm wearing I will always be India Arie

Keep your fancy drinks and your expensive minks
I don't need that to have a good time
Keep your expensive car and your caviar
All I need is my guitar
Keep your Kristal and your pistol
I'd rather have a pretty piece of crystal
Don't need your silicon I prefer my own
What God gave me is just fine

I'm not the average girl from your video
and I ain't built like a supermodel
But, I learned to love myself unconditionally
Because I am a queen
I'm not the average girl from your video
My worth is not determined by the price of my clothes
No matter what I'm wearing I will always be India Arie


So, what do the rest of you have on your "you can't make me be girly that way" list?

Comments

[tshuma]

Nylons are a big one for me. I like tights, especially when it's cold out and I want to wear a shorter dress or skirt. But I hate nylons.

I rarely shave my legs. I used to do it once every two months, for Gaskells. Then I moved away, and lived with my boyfriend who didn't care whether I did or not. I let them go for two years. It didn't bother me, didn't bother him, and I was a student working at an internship, it didn't bother work either.

Make-up. I really hate the idea that I shouldn't leave the house without "putting on my face" first. This was my sister's concept of beauty, and all I could think was that if people weren't attracted to me without my make-up, then they were being attracted to the make-up and not me anyway. I have to wear the stuff for theatre, had to wear it for modelling, and I will occasionally put a very little on for special occasions, but otherwise my face is just as it has been and will be, with fewer wrinkles, the rest of my life.

There's more, but that should be a good start.

[zhaneel69.livejournal.com]

I wear what I want and what I think looks good. Not what is currently "in". I will buy multiples of something I really like so that I have it when it goes out of style and I've worn through my first one [thanks miss emelia!].

Make-up as an everyday thing. Ugh. For dress-up nights only and only if I feel like.

Shaving my legs. I look great the first day and the next day I look like I have the chickenpox. No thank you.

Any job that required me to wear a skirt every day could kiss my ass. Nylons or no. I don't mind nylons and will wear them when I choose, but damnit I like wearing pants sometimes.

I'm sure there are more.

Zhaneel

Well...

[themusecalliope]

I love jeans. Specifically Levi's 501s.
How weird is it that men's pants fit my hips better than womens?
So...I wear very little make-up if any.

I dunno. I'm just not that girly in general.

[noirem.livejournal.com]

Obviously I can't read her entry to see what it is her job wants her to do, but if she's working with clients they have a right to expect certain standards in appearance. However, if they want things like manicures and having your hair styled she should get receipts and turn them in as a work expense - which is what they are.

I've gotten the impression that things like wearing makeup and nylons are more important on the east coast and, to only a slightly lesser degree, the midwest. Here in california people are more laid back.

I shave my legs because I like how soft they feel and how nice they look. If i'm wearing jeans or a long skirt I won't bother. I occasionally wax my arms (gasp, I know) because again, I like how soft they look and feel. I've got that mediteranian hairiness so I've got dark hair in lots of places I don't want it, like my chin and my breasts and way too much in my eyebrows so I pluck (though I haven't really bothered much bellow my neckline as no one sees my breasts. Occasionally I go "Ack! Hair!" and go on a plucking spree.

So, yeah, I've bought into the whole "women must not have hair bellow their eyebrows" thing, but I could care less about what is the most fashionable hem-line or does my purse match my shoes, which are most likely flats 'cause I -like- my body and most certainly don't have wedge toes.

OTOH, I wouldn't mind regular manicures or pedicures, not because it's hard for me to keep strong, healthy nails (long on my fingers, short on my toes) but because the idea of someone regularly massaging them sounds really good.

[labelleizzy.livejournal.com]

I'm with you on the chin-hair plucking thing. Drives me nuts to feel the damn little things poking out. (**MUST...PLUCK...NOW!!**)

[ragani.livejournal.com]

me too!

[labelleizzy.livejournal.com]

Ditto on hairdryers/curling irons, ditto on nylons and shaving.

Ditto the xtyn on makeup - I simply can't be bothered anymore unless it's for a fancy event.

Ditto zhaneel on "making me wear skirts" and not worrying about the whole "fashionableness" of my get-up.

I try to wear clean, tidy, classic styles for work, sometimes with funky accent pieces or jewelry. I like to wear my earrings and rings (and the chain Jeff gave me) all the time. Simple, comfortable shoes.

But my favorite of all recently, is that when I don't have to go anywhere, I don't put clothes on. Simple, easy, and even more comfortable! Ok, maybe I was born into the wrong half of the 60's decade...