Ragani

This Dork Tower is for you, emberleo.

In an attempt to find something to amuse the recovering rose42dance when we went to go visit her yesterday, I found the Uncyclopedia article on the Appendix, which I share for your... edification? We included some gummy worms for visual reference.

Via e-mail from my mom, for all my Jewish friends...

Tashlich

As you know on Rosh Hashanah, there is a ceremony called Tashlich. Jews
traditionally go to a running body of water such as the ocean, a stream
or a river to pray and throw in breadcrumbs. This symbolizes throwing
away one's sins which the fish devour.

Occasionally, people ask what kinds of breadcrumbs should be thrown.
Here are suggestions for breads which may be most appropriate for
specific sins and misbehaviors:

For ordinary sins --White Bread

For erotic sins - French Bread

For particularly dark sins - Pumpernickel

For complex sins - Multi grain

For sins of indecision - Waffles

For sins committed in haste - Matzos

For sins of chutzpah - Any fresh bread

For substance abuse - Stoned wheat

For committing auto theft - Caraway

For timidity/cowardice - Milk toast

For ill-temper - Sourdough

For silliness, eccentricity - Nut bread

For excessive irony - Rye bread

For unnecessary chances - Hero bread

For war-mongering - Kaiser rolls

For dressing immodestly - Tarts

For lechery and promiscuity - Hot buns

For promiscuity with gentiles - Hot cross buns

For racist attitudes - Crackers

For being holier than thou - Bagels

For overeating - Stuffing

For indecent photography - Cheesecake

For raising your voice too often - Challah

For pride and egotism - Puff pastry

For sycophancy, ass-kissing - Brownies

For being overly smothering - Angel food cake

For trashing the environment - Dumplings

For telling bad jokes/puns - Corn bread