Why does it...
Nov. 10th, 2003 10:05 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
raganiWhy does it feel that it is unacceptable to my boyfriend that our life be more organized? He has said to me in the past that he does not care about being organized, but he has his share of problems keeping track of things because of that attitude.
Why is it OK to repeatedly...
...loose bills you know you need to pay?
...not be able to find possessions you know you have?
...not plan in advance for events and end up unprepared?
...resist efforts to develop a joint routine/budget/system with a partner to deal with these thing?
OK, anyone who knows me well will point out that I suffer from all of the above to some degree or other. Part of what is frustrating me is that I am trying to find a better way to deal with these very types of problems myself, and feel I am fighting two battles: one with me, and a second with him. From what we have been reading, this is right on schedule as we often seek in a mate the mirror of our own issues.
To give him his due, he has recently shown a lot more willingness to tackle these aspects of his life. Some of this seems to coincide with his most recent birthday. He recently confessed to me a desire to rid himself of clutter, although some of that could also be due to moving 3 times in less than 2 years. We made a lot of progress this past weekend, and the weekend before in getting the main part of the house organized. It seems lately that I get his help for about one day a week, and the rest it is like pulling teeth to get him to help.
I just spent a half hour in our garage looking for something I know I have down there, but because everything down there is piled willy-nilly, it is near impossible to find anything unless it is right in plain sight. I am trying not to be so angry at him since much of the stuff is mine, but I am angry that usually when I suggest we spend some time to organize and even unpack it is met with such resistance that I end up feeling like such a bad-guy for even suggesting we should live more organized.
During the last move my mother said something to me that really hurt. She accused me of making socializing more of a priority than organizing, which is why things are so out of hand. Well, obviously, she had no idea how much I have been working on getting organized. Sadly, it has been neglected for so long that it was all ready a big task before my boyfriend and I combined (and compounded) our clutter.
Well, I feel a little better now, although I have just used up another hour ranting. Not to mention I just found he is going to be at work even later ( and under a lot of pressure).
Why is it OK to repeatedly...
...loose bills you know you need to pay?
...not be able to find possessions you know you have?
...not plan in advance for events and end up unprepared?
...resist efforts to develop a joint routine/budget/system with a partner to deal with these thing?
OK, anyone who knows me well will point out that I suffer from all of the above to some degree or other. Part of what is frustrating me is that I am trying to find a better way to deal with these very types of problems myself, and feel I am fighting two battles: one with me, and a second with him. From what we have been reading, this is right on schedule as we often seek in a mate the mirror of our own issues.
To give him his due, he has recently shown a lot more willingness to tackle these aspects of his life. Some of this seems to coincide with his most recent birthday. He recently confessed to me a desire to rid himself of clutter, although some of that could also be due to moving 3 times in less than 2 years. We made a lot of progress this past weekend, and the weekend before in getting the main part of the house organized. It seems lately that I get his help for about one day a week, and the rest it is like pulling teeth to get him to help.
I just spent a half hour in our garage looking for something I know I have down there, but because everything down there is piled willy-nilly, it is near impossible to find anything unless it is right in plain sight. I am trying not to be so angry at him since much of the stuff is mine, but I am angry that usually when I suggest we spend some time to organize and even unpack it is met with such resistance that I end up feeling like such a bad-guy for even suggesting we should live more organized.
During the last move my mother said something to me that really hurt. She accused me of making socializing more of a priority than organizing, which is why things are so out of hand. Well, obviously, she had no idea how much I have been working on getting organized. Sadly, it has been neglected for so long that it was all ready a big task before my boyfriend and I combined (and compounded) our clutter.
Well, I feel a little better now, although I have just used up another hour ranting. Not to mention I just found he is going to be at work even later ( and under a lot of pressure).
