Beauty Standards

[ragani]

In her (locked) post about her reaction to a lame meeting held at her office on how to dress, chicklet73 lists a bunch of ways that she is not "girly" and is OK with it. And, BTW, I am sure you would agree that, despite what she says in her post, she is indeed beautiful.

There are so many types of "girly" style and every girl should have the right to pick and choose which ones work for them.

I had one friend in high school that liked to tell people what a tom-boy she was. See, she needed to tell people this because although she might not have been the girliest girls at our school, she was one of the girliest girls in our circle of friends. She would point out her ripped jeans as an example, but she actually would wear nylons under them!!! She had a dermatologist and got regular manacures, and was a hostest on a cable teen talk show. Not really my idea of a tom-boy.

And speaking of nylons, I once worked temp at a corporation in SF that would actually send people home (or, I guess the nearest pharmacy) if they showed up in a dress or skirt without nylons or tights.

My list would include things like:
I don't like to wear uncomfortable shoes for anyone, least of all just for fashion, so even though I have plenty of shoes, they are primarily comfortable (loafers, boots, comfortable sandles). I am not against spending over a $100 on a nice pair of good comfortable sandals that should last a while and still are nice enough to wear to work or even the opera. In fact, that describes the sandals I have on right now which are similar to these, but with adjustable straps. You gotta love a shoe company that has the motto Proper Size • Perfect Fit.

And the whole handbags obsession is something I just don't get. What a pain having to move all that stuff from one bag to another! I want everything with me without a hassle. In high school I preferred a vest with lots of pockets, and now I tend to use one bag (be it a purse, back pack or some variation therein) until is no longer usable (thanks Leeloo, I guess I was done using that really nifty biker back-pack that my sensi coveted after all, so I guess it is no big deal that you peed on it - not!) and a new one comes into my life (often thanks to my grandma).

I didn't shave (anything) regularly until my late 20's, and even now, I only do when I feel like it. The same is true for manicures and pedicures. More importantly, I didn't start doing either of those until they were for ME and not to please anyone else or some dictates of fashion.

Typically the only times my hair feels the heat of a hair dryer, or even a hair iron of any kind is the couple of times a year that I get my hair cut at a salon. When I get my hair cut I tell the stylist "Do what ever you like, as long as I can put it up in a pony tail or bun, I don't have bangs to fuss with, and it does not take lots of product or styling to be ready."

I really do have a lot to say about this. I guess I should quit and go get lunch instead of making this longer. I will leave you with the lyrics to the India Arie song Video, and a question.

Sometimes I shave my legs and sometimes I don't
Sometimes I comb my hair and sometimes I won't
Depend on how the wind blows I might even paint my toes
It really just depends on whatever feels good in my soul

I'm not the average girl from your video
and I ain't built like a supermodel
But, I learned to love myself unconditionally
Because I am a queen
I'm not the average girl from your video
My worth is not determined by the price of my clothes
No matter what I'm wearing I will always be India Arie

When I look in the mirror and the only one there is me
Every freckle on my face is where it's supposed to be
And I know my creator didn't make no mistakes on me
My feet, my thighs, my lips, my eyes; I'm lovin' what I see

I'm not the average girl from your video
and I ain't built like a supermodel
But, I learned to love myself unconditionally
Because I am a queen
I'm not the average girl from your video
My worth is not determined by the price of my clothes
No matter what I'm wearing I will always be India Arie

Am I less of a lady if I don't wear pantyhose?
My mama said a lady ain't what she wears but, what she knows
But, I've drawn a conclusion, it's all an illusion, confusion's the name of the
game
A misconception, a vast deception
Something's gotta change
Don't be offended this is all my opinion
ain't nothing that I'm sayin law
This is a true confession of a life learned lesson I was sent here to share with
y'all
So get in where you fit in go on and shine
Clear your mind, now's the time
Put your salt on the shelf
Go on and love yourself
'Cuz everything's gonna be all right

I'm not the average girl from your video
and I ain't built like a supermodel
But, I Learned to love myself unconditionally
Because I am a queen
I'm not the average girl from your video
My worth is not determined by the price of my clothes
No matter what I'm wearing I will always be India Arie

Keep your fancy drinks and your expensive minks
I don't need that to have a good time
Keep your expensive car and your caviar
All I need is my guitar
Keep your Kristal and your pistol
I'd rather have a pretty piece of crystal
Don't need your silicon I prefer my own
What God gave me is just fine

I'm not the average girl from your video
and I ain't built like a supermodel
But, I learned to love myself unconditionally
Because I am a queen
I'm not the average girl from your video
My worth is not determined by the price of my clothes
No matter what I'm wearing I will always be India Arie


So, what do the rest of you have on your "you can't make me be girly that way" list?